Black Family Today: Wife and Daughter Argue Every Day

“My wife and daughter argue every day, all day. It’s driving me crazy. My daughter is 14 years old. I get along fine with my daughter. I know they love each other. What can I do?”

Advice from…

Not a lot. What you are witnessing is more common in Black families than you realize.

Black fathers and daughters tend to have a comfortable and less confrontational relationship than Black mothers and daughters. There is mom-teen-argue-family-digest-500x335-wquite a different set of dynamics at work in the mother/daughter relationship. Daughter is trying to assert herself and become her own woman, while her mother is struggling to hold the reins on her. Mothers see themselves in their daughters and are protective for a number of reasons. This leads to clash after clash.

In order to bridge barriers, encourage (in private) your wife to have chats with your daughter around points of common interests, not issues of conflict. This is a delicate and stressful time in both of their lives, so stand by and be patient. It’s most likely that some day they’ll be best friends.

This advice for the Black Family is contributed by Emma M. Talbott, author of The Joy and Challenge of Raising African American Children.

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